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Chanticleer Calls - November 1, 1999 IN THIS ISSUE: MINDFULNESS COMING TO AGE AND FINALLY: But You Thought ... * * * * * * An older couple went to a doctor because they were having memory problems. The doctor reassured them that their problems were not serious and encouraged them to write notes to themselves to help them remember things. That night the couple were watching TV when the woman got up to get a snack. "Do you want anything?" she asked her husband. "I'd love some ice cream," he said. "Do you need to make a note of that?" "Of course not," she said. "I can remember ice cream." "Oh,could you put some nuts on it?" "Sure." she said. "Do you need to make a note of that?" "No. I can remember it. Ice cream and nuts." "Add some chocolate syrup, while you're at it. Why don't you write that down." "No, I can remember! Ice cream, nuts and chocolate syrup." The woman went into the kitchen and soon returned with a bowl of oatmeal on a tray. "Hey," said the man, "Where's my toast!" - from Cindy W. in Tulsa MINDFULNESS Since Chanticleer last called, I spent a week in New York/New Jersey for my annual board meeting and dinner/lecture with the Institute of General Semantics. Ellen J. Langer, professor of psychology at Harvard and author of several books such as Mindfulness, spoke at this year's event, held at The Harvard Club in midtown Manhattan. Summarizing how she distinguishes "mindfulness" from "mindlessness": A mindful approach to any activity has three characteristics: the continuous creation of new categories; openness to new information; and an implicit awareness of more than one perspective. Mindlessness, in contrast, is characterized by an entrapment in old categories; by automatic behavior that precludes attending to new signals; and by action that operates from a single perspective. Not only do we as individuals get locked into single-minded views, but we also reinforce these views for each other until the culture itself suffers the same mindlessness. There is an awareness of this in science. Scientists proceed along a path gathering data that build on accepted wisdom. At some point someone turns everyone's attention to a very different view of the previously acknowledged truth. This phenomenon happens frequently enough that scientists are generally not surprised by what is called a paradigm shift. Her research findings and notions about "mindfulness" parallel much of general semantics. She spoke, and has written, a lot about aging and the elderly, and how we (society and culture in general) encourage mindlessness. Among many factors, she maintains that we generally tend to deny the aging the opportunity to think for themselves and control their own choice-making. Of course, the 'problem' isn't so much with the elderly as much as it is with the accumulated buildup of "mindless" mindsets we (as a society and culture) learn and propogate from generation to generation. She also had some very interesting (and critical) comments regarding the malady du jour of ADD - Attention Deficit Disorder, and particularly the gross over-prescribing of Ritalin. She felt it was quite inappropriate to label someone with a "disorder" simply because a person in authority (parent, teacher, etc.) becomes dissatisfied with someone's level of apparent attention in one context. According to Langer, many of those diagnosed with ADD experience many, many contexts in which their attention is (appears to be) quite normal. You might consider reading one of her books. * * * * * * Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can`t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich." The second lady chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can`t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down." The third one responded, "Well, I`m glad I don`t have that problem- knock on wood." She rapped her knuckles on the table and then said, "That must be the door, I`ll get it." * * * * * * COMING TO AGE Picture this .... you're stopped at an intersection. From behind, you feel the approaching thunderous mega bass of a vehicle with no respect for the aural environment of others. In your rearview mirror, you detect the front grill of a new, oversized pickup, pulsating with the intrusive, obnoxious noise ... BOOM..BOOM..BOOM....". Your car vibrates from the resonating bass as it pulls alongside, and you hear nothing but the ear-splitting, bone-jarring sounds emanating from the truck. Perturbed, you lower your window and glance aside to see what depraved excuse for humanity has invaded your serene space. In the front seat of the pickup, you see a man and a woman in their 70s or 80s, rocking out to what you believe to be Nat King Cole's "Roll out those lazy-hazy-crazy days of summer". The light turns green. They peel out, leaving rubber on the road, and your jaw on your chest. * * * * * * The day after the Ellen Langer lecture, I had the privilege to serve as chairman of a one-day colloquium held at Pace University in lower Manhattan to further discuss the notions of "mindfulness" as related to general semantics and critical thinking. (Okay, I can't say that with a straight face. What "chairman" meant in this context was to simply introduce the presenters, watch the clock, make sure we maintained some semblance of a schedule, and suck my throat lozenges as inconspicuously as possible.) The afternoon included a 90-minute "sensory awareness" segment, which included several enlightening guided awareness exercises. I've participated in dozens of similar sessions during general semantics workshops, and I'm always amazed at the immediate beneficial and relaxing results. This session proved memorable primarily because of the four women who led us. The youngest appeared to be in her mid-50s. The others were specifically asked their ages. The other three women who each took a 20-minute turn in leading the sensory awareness exercises were aged 82, 84 and 90. The eldest was Charlotte Read, whom I've had the wonder of knowing for six years, so I've almost come to take her youthfulness for granted. In 1995, she led our workshop in a one-hour session non-verbal awareness session. During some preliminary stretching exercises, she shamed us all by doing some unremarkable things like standing flat-footed, bending from the waist, and touching her fingertips to the ground. She did this at age 85, and she did it in a very slow, very controlled, demonstration of limberness. And just the day before, during our Board meeting, she asked several, "But what about ...?" questions, and provided other cogent, insightful observations. She now needs two canes to motor herself around, but she still manages her ever-present backpack on her own. Seeing her alongside these other women caused me once again to think to myself, "I need to update my 'map' of what 80 looks like." * * * * * * Do you ever stop to consider where your mental "maps" (or images, models, expectations, etc.) about something or someone come from? And do you consider updating, or changing, them as warranted based on your experience? And is your behavior complying with somebody else's "map" of how you 'should' behave, or are you navigating based on a "map" of your own making, based on your own experiences, observations, reactions, etc? Are you mindful or mindless in your "map-making"? * * * * * * AND FINALLY: Follow-up(1)- from the Dallas Morning News: Obscenity on 'Hope' fails to raise ruckus: CBS says there was "surprisingly little" reaction to the Oct. 14 episode of Chicago Hope in which Mark Harmon's character said one of those famous dirty words you can't say on television - in the phrase " . . . [expletive] happens." A show representative said the network received 40 calls in reaction, adding that there were twice as many complaints about a show a season or so back that featured breast-feeding. - Hartford Courant [Hmm ... I didn't see that bumper sticker ... LACTOSE HAPPENS!] * * * * * * Follow-up(2) - from "Roger", who wrote for help regarding "groups vs. teams": Well my presentation went pretty good, my teacher was really pleased, and I must say that you were a big help to me. So thank you sooo much, I really appreciate it. Robert [SS: The request was signed "Roger"; the thank you was signed "Robert". Perhaps one associates with a "group", and the other with a "team" ....?] BUT YOU THOUGHT ... So, what was your answer on the groups vs teams question? Here's mine. All teams are groups, but not all groups are teams. Consider this: a group of rocks and a group of ants. The ants can be considered a team, but the rocks can not. The determinant is ACTION. Then, the biggest difference between good teams and bad teams is the effort put into choreographing the action. Or at least that's the view from my knowledge-management addled brain. - Amy in Phoenix A group of people are a number of people, not necessarily with anything in common or the same goal. A team is more or less a unit of people with the same goal, as in baseball team. Your CD's. I think alphabetical is practical. As time goes on we will forget dates, etc. But hopefully we all will remember the alphabet. It is as easy as ABC. - Kathleen in Plano Just a brief note to commend you once again on your pleasant and insightful rants... >=) I'm curious as to how you responded to Gary's letter... I'm also of the firm opinion that improving one's situation is very much a lifelong process. In fact, I have thus far found deprogramming to be the most difficult endeavor I've ever undertaken. It requires an immense amount of work and dedication to not simply "give up & consume." At the risk of flaming poor Gary, I feel his statement "we are who we are" may be his undoing. This seems to work against many of the principles that prove effective in one's efforts to "unlearn." I imagine that once one starts to "scratch the surface" *smiles* of something as difficult as self improvement, dogma starts to look extremely attractive... Now, where did I put that remote?.... >=) - Jeffrey thank you for the FONIX lesson. It's been thirty years and I was probably overdue... you're a sweet man. sugar-free, perhaps, but still sweet. was it Al Sleet or Al Sleep, the Hippie Dippy Weatherman? - namedotcom in deliveranceland (Birmingham, AL) I have never had ANY formal business classes, but it would appear to me that a "group" would be an assemblage of individuals having only certain characteristics in common (i.e. all men, all women, all employees, all singles), whereas a "team" would consist of individuals all displaying definitive attributes that allow them special insight into the subject at hand that they were chosen for (i.e. sports, mathematics, investing etc.). A "team" would have a common focus in problem solving where each participant lends his or her forte to the common good of goal attainment. A group would merely be an assemblage of individuals without a goal in mind. I have enjoyed your "newsletters" and thanks again Steve for remembering me, best wishes in your new pursuit(s). - Harry O. in Seattle, WA Just wanted to say I appreciate your e-mails; just because I don't usually reply doesn't mean I don't enjoy them ("This" is not "that" -- did I use it right??) PS: I've been keeping busy working on web pages and graphics: check out the new "splash" page on my Movie/TV page: http://members.tripod.com/~ComicsOnTap/splash.htm - Mark & Karlyn I've just browsed around your site a bit and found it intriguing-- whoda thunk you could make General Semantics sound, almost, like, you know, relevant... ;) - Read S. in New York (http://www.cleave.com )

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